I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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