Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So much rum. So many feels.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
