It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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