I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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