This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
