Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
