I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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