But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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