he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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