I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
