i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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