There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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