i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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