He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
