A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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