I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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