I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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