Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
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What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
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Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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