That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
