So drunk its hurt
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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