Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize