I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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