Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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