when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
