Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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