I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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