it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
