You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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