just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
