I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Oh god it's open bar.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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