My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
