Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
