This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Enjoy the penises
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
