How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I have fence marks all over my body
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize