Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
