Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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