If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
