I'm jealous of your bromance
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
