I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
