just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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