A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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