is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
