I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
