is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
