You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
