5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
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