I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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