So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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