Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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