Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
