So drunk, too bad you don't want this
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
nutella sex= disaster
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
