I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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