A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize