I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize