im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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