I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize