suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He? As in you personified your dick?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
