You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just googled if crying burns calories
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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