Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
