You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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