Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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