I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
it's not cheating when I paid for it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
