8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
